by Keith Smith, Express TT

Just in case the current Cro Cro controversy obscures the wider reality which is that other calypsonians are rightly taking an anti-kidnapping stance I here submit this from Calypso Prince, sung in the same Revue tent and receiving same encore:

"Kidnappers cure"

Yuh bad-talk police and army.

On the kidnapping issue

Yuh say them kidnappers slippery

They does leave them police wondering in they shoes

But when ah read around the world

What clergy men could do

Men of the cloth have a key role

To help the police too

So when yuh catch them beast

Police call the priest

CHORUS

Take them in the forest with two prominent priest

Strip them and hand-cuff them to some trees

Them prominent priest I know go solve the problem

Teaching the both side of the Bible to them

First orally teach the religious side to them so they could repent

This kidnapping thing getting to damn prevalent

Them who doh hear go feel

Teach them physically the wrath of Satan

Iron-Iron-Hot Iron

Yuh might laugh at my suggestion

Calling it ah silly joke

But we need that combination

So merger police work with the Holy Book

Cause if them former Acolyte

Highlight what they endure

To them it wrong but it just right

For every kidnapper

They like terrorist

So give them ah taste

CHORUS

Take them to the forest with two prominent priest

Strip them and hand-cuff them to some trees

Them prominent priest I know go solve the problem

Teaching the Bible and lecturing to them

Lecture to them the peril they victim and family does go through

Then demonstrate to them what the devil go do

Ransom is handsome but what sweet in goat mouth sour in be bottom

Iron-Iron-Hot Iron

Now it have some young kidnappers

Averaging bout 12 years old

Escaping Youth Training Centres

And by law they too young for the Royal Gaol

But everyone yuh apprehend

Forget bout the Prison

Because I strongly recommend

Send for Michael Jackson

That's the age limit

He love to relate

CHORUS

Take them in the forest with two prominent priest

Strip them and handcuff them to some trees

With Michael Jackson in toe bringing up the rear

All kidnapping have to done from there

Let father pray for they soul and when he finish give them ah lecture

Then move aside let Michael Jackson take over

So when he "Free Willie" them young fellers will do the "Moon Walk" on land

Iron Iron Hot Iron

Now to all of my detractors

Don't get cynical on me

Because in and every factor

You will be condemning me deceitfully

So why must you defend father

When is he say he gay

Then he colleagues get together

Ordain him then they pray

So come crime stoppers

Priest for kidnappers

CHORUS

Take them in the forest with two prominent priest

Strip them and hand cuff them to some trees

Them prominent priest I know go solve the problem

Teaching what is good and what's evil to them

First make them know that when they do good good does triumph over evil

And kidnapping people you will pay the devil

Then show them when they finish pay the devil years they cannot sit-down

Iron-Iron-Hot Iron

Look, I know that offence is in the eyes of the people being offended and the bigger the perceived offence the bigger the opening of the eyes but what I am trying to forestall here is another of these anti-calypso tirades, people seizing upon a particular calypso to cry down the whole form and, worse than that, people propagandising that that is a collective view, the whole of "Laventy", for example thinking "it good all dem Indians getting kidnap" or some such separatist stupidness.

With respect to Prince's variation on the calypso theme, well, that is Prince, all over, playing for a laugh with a serious subject which is not to say that the "Beetham" boy is taking this kidnapping thing lightly but to say that he is being true to his style, humour bordering on the salacious, without being crude enough to be vulgar. As a practising Catholic I am into calypso enough not to be offended (Lord knows there are priests who have offended us enough) but I don't expect that every person, or group is going to be as blase about calypsoes and calypsonians as I am, my charge against Cro Cro being a lack of craft or what Chalkie calls "spin" as well as everything else, Stalin's "Bun Dem", brilliant kaisonian though he often is, still being among my least favourite in his so rich repertoire.

Below, then, the lyrics of Cro Cro's controversial calypso, the better for you to make your own considered judgment:

"Face Reality"

Remember the master say

- bam bam bam bam bam

If you do wrong you have to pay

- boom, boom, boom, boom, boom

So dey tief out de treasury

- boom, boom, boom, boom, boom

And dey living hoity-toity

- boom, boom, boom, boom, boom

Dey dress with jacket and tie

Dey tief and living a lie

Dey better pay back

All de wrong ting dey do,

Or the bandit coming for you.

So all dem Carlos, dem jefe sefe, dem who tief

And dem who doh pray

Ah begging mi bandit friend

kidnap dem

All who have coke in water tank

Drug money in foreign bank

Doh mind how de plea and beg

kidnap dem.

All who money ho-to-to

All who know dey rip off Tidco

All dem who brother is hen

kidnap dem

Dey have we money in London and Miami

Kidnapping go build back de economy.

Ah wrong deserves punishment

bem, bem, bem, bem, bem

Tha's why de fraid to walk de pavement

- ban, ban, ban, ban, ban

Launder all Dole Chadee money

- bam, bam, bam, bam, bam

And Banji with Ramesh too hang he

Dey glad Chadee hang that day

Day taught de woulda never pay

But like Sadaam dey have to live in hole

Until all ah dem pay back Dole

So all Chadee family

Who used to depend on he

Begging robocop de friend

kidnap dem

All dem big, big, big store owners

Who does bring coke

In coth containers to fry brain

ah we children

kidnap dem

De children happy in London

We kids turning pusher-man,

Laventille children ketchen de ne-nen

kidnap dem

Dey have we money in London and Miami

Kidnapping go build back we economy.