I am a Trinidadian living in NY. And every year I patiently await the news of the big winners from the panorama, soca monarch and calypso monarch. I become that child that eagerly awaits Christmas morning to see what I got. That what carnival is to me, its like Christmas. So just imagine the excitement that took over my body when my cousin call to tell me about the web site www.ctntworld.com where we could see every thing live and would you believe my house went into a frenzy with all of us dividing up so we could take away with us our own experiences . My mother and her sister took up resident in her grandson’s room , watching a 3 inch by 3 inch screen, something my mother would never do, but a true Trini never says never and my mother is a true Trini. My brother and his wife whom couldn’t be in Trinidad this year because she is pregnant could be heard blasting soca music from their room I know she wanted to make sure her sprit was felt from miles away and the unborn child would be born with the beat of calypso and soca. And I took up the task of multy tasking informing everyone where to go to see Trinidad carnival live while watching a 3 inch screen and sing out the sweet melody of soca, hoping that I was doing it justice but not really caring if I did because I was a witness to something spectacular and magical.
I called my boss to whom I am always talking to about my Trinidad and my carnival and told her as well to go see why we call my Trinidad and my carnival is the best show on earth. But my excitement turned to dread when on Tuesday at 4pm I was waiting to see colors and colors with men and women showing the world what a real Trini love fest does look like and all I could see was people and masqueraders walking through the savannah. No one stood out, it looked like a mess I was embarrassed to say that this is what my culture has come to. where the masqueraders are not respected or per pelted to the forefront. What has happened to the pita stool we use to place them on, you know the one we use to call the big stage.
who I am will never change and that is a Trini living in NY. I love my culture and want the world to see us give it the respect it derisive, that they to could appreciate and love it as much as I do. What I saw on Tuesday wasn’t love or respect for our culture. What it came across as was a dieing art.
Go back to the drawing board please I am begging don’t show this image to the world again because I’ll be looking again next year with the rest of the world.

Alicia Enill
A Trini living in New York